From The Storyteller
March 18, 2019 Talented
Eyes burning, smoke floating in the air, the smell of burnt something filling the house and once again I’m demonstrating my talent for making poor decisions. It is 18 degrees outside, and I get a bright idea. The oven needs cleaning, it has a self-cleaning feature, the heat it will throw off will help warm the house - so why not.
Why not? Because, as I just realized, you can’t ventilate a closed house when it’s 18 ͦ outside. Bad call on my part. At least Elaine is at school and won’t be home for several hours. Turn on the ceiling fans, turn the furnace fan to run, and then wait it out.
This decision ranks right up there with the time I put gasoline in our diesel car. I filled the tank and then realized what I had done. Talented Doug spent several hours using a newly purchased hand pump to move 14 gallons of gas into several newly purchased gas cans. Which also reminds me of the time I got caught cutting a high school class because I misspelled the teacher’s name on the pass that I used.
All of which reaffirms my commitment to never run for president. Somethings from the past are better left unsaid, and if I ran for president I’d have to let the world see just how talented I am. Seven plus decades of being a “Why not?” person has definitely left a trail.
Please know this isn’t a sad reflection on my life. Actually writing this story has been more fun than most, because I really am smiling as I recall some of my better mishaps. I find myself enjoying a list of just a few of the things experience has taught me not to do.
Moral: The old saying is true - “Experience is something you get shortly after you need it.”